Lonely Day

So Peace Corps, so many good things: adventure, career, college, travel, exotic food, a new continent in my list of life goals. I am so excited and awaiting my blissful, terrible, uplifting, cynical adventure that I know I am going to have.

The bad things; career on hold as it begins, packing up my whole life into a few boxes, selling everything I cant take or pack, giving away things I cant sell, throwing away what I cant give, leaving the people that I love, leaving our pets - yeah about that its why I am blogging. I have to put my cat Isis down, I have to murder her. She sprays, its not like she pees on stuff, she destroys things. Destroys them until they are gone destroys them, rusts metal underneath paint, makes everything sticky and stinky and orange. Seriously its fucking gross. We cant have people over because its so horrible. I can not ask anyone to foster her, she will destroy their stuff too. Its cost us thousands (thats right plural) of dollars we have thrown out heirlooms, keepsakes, all kinds of stuff. The other side of me says meh its just stuff, I would have thrown it out anyway, or its just money, I would have spent it anyways, or its just company, they would have gotten on my nerves. But that does not change the situation. I can not ask anyone to deal with that, considering how much I hate it.

On Tuesday I will have to have her murdered. It will be quick and painless, and she will be around the people who love her, but it sucks and it makes me cry and I want to smoke and drink and cry and it sucks.

Thats it. I am sad, it sucks


bleh